For F*ck's sake...
The other day he had me call someone for him for a problem he was having with one of his cars. So I nicely dialled the number and... *surprise*.... I was put on hold for 45 mins, before someone put the phone down on me. Yeah, I was traumatised; no one ever (let me stress on the word EVER!) put the phone down on me. I was just getting over the shock when the Loony Boss entered my office and asked if I'd been able to get hold of someone.
"No", I say, "these idiots put me on hold for a bloody hour and then put the god damn phone down on me".
"Right, right", he replied... "So, what did they say about my issue then?" he suddenly asked.
At that right moment I swear I started planning his murder in my head..... first on my list: throw the trash bin at him, if lucky enough hit him on the face. Second on my list: throwing anything else on my desk, if first option missed. Third on my list: eventually think about a cruelest way to smash him... throw the god damn computer right to his face. Fourth and last in my list: make up an alibi for my whereabouts at the time of the murder, chat up the good looking officer, pretend he attacked first...... and show him my broken nail. According to my plans it should work fine. If it doesn't, well....... that was just a plan in my head anyway! No real harm done. Whatever.... after his amazingly stupid question I just stood there, my jaw dropping to the floor and question marks flying all around my head. Yeah, looks like a cartoon ... and that's just what it was.
For fucks sake, someone give me a bloody knife !!!