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Tuesday, July 13, 2004

::.. To trust or not to trust ..::

[Listening to: Don't Lie To Me - Dokken - Under Lock and Key (03:37)]

Nando sent me an invitation to join a new community called ORKUT. I honestly didn't know about it. But I signed up all the same. You see, I am a very curious person and needed to know what the fuzz was all about. Plus, he mentioned Sack Trick... and that's a damn good reason to join. Anyway, it seems to be a good community, for what I've see. There are thousands of different communities and people seem to be nice. So far, I've joined the Sack Trick's community (Obviously!!!), KISS Army, Tesla, one about the Braveheart movie ('cuz that's my favourite ever, in case I hadn't mentioned it before. I've seen it more than 20 times, to tell you the truth !!!), Scotland, Van Halen, Def Leppard and a few more... the thing is: you can't join without getting an invitation, which is a shame. Although, I guess you can invite all your mates once you're registered yourself. (Note to Nando: Thanks for the invitation, I really appreciate it...)
Here's the URL in case you're interested... ORKUT

Anyway, what else new in my life? Errr... not much to be honest. And my love life's a mess. Would you believe me if I told you that the last time I went on a date was in February? No wait, that was in January. How pathetic is that, huh?
He was a nice chap I guess. Met him a few times during Sack Trick gigs, and we kind of got along. The problem was, I just liked him. And to be with someone, I really need to have a big crush on that person, or else I get fed up and it won't work out. It didn't...
He just was interested in having sex... I refused.
The problem with me is that I need a good challenge. I need to fight for what (or should I say who?!?) I want. Which means that I usually end up having a huge crush on guys that either have a girlfriend (not very convenient, huh?) or are commitment phobic.

Stupid, stupid, stupid ME !!!

I always tell myself... "Katie, stop being so picky. And instead of searching for the perfect match, try to find yourself a nice chap" ... it always fails !!!
The problem is that even though I like challenges, I never seem to be able to make the first step. I'm kind of shy with guys, you see, specially when I really fancy their pants. Unless I am drunk. But again, I end up regretting what I did, 'cuz I usually forget half of what happens. Like with that guy last year. I really fancied him. We'd been kind of flirting for a while and when I was in London he eventually came home. I was so wasted that I couldn't even remember going back to my place.
Some weeks later, I was speaking with that guy I can't even stand (I'll call him A here... just to keep him anonymous!!!), and he told me that B (that's yet another guy) had told him about what had happened with guy number 1 (am I being clear here?!?). The thing was that (as I later found out) guy number 1 told his best friend B all the details, who told... God knows who (well, so far I found out that he told guy A and that guy I dated back in January...). I really was mad when I found out. That was private. What a childish behaviour for a grown up man. Now, I don't even know if I should blame guy number 1 for telling his best friend, or guy B for gossiping about stuff that didn't even concern him.......
All that bloody story really hurt me !!! I'd never have believed he would do such a stupid thing. But believe me, I've learnt from my mistake....... DON'T TRUST GUYS !!!
So, I'm not likely to meet someone as I first need to trust a man before I can get any further.

Argh... what the hell's wrong with me ?!?!




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