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Today's Mood:
 

 
 

Monday, June 16, 2003

It's a girl, it's a girl....... hurray, 3 times hurray !!! Didn't I tell you I was sure it would be a girl? Am so happy about it. Honestly, I think I would have been pretty disappointed if my sister was expecting a boy! I mean, she already has 2 wee guys, she doesn't need a third, he he !!! I think I am too emotive sometimes, Did I really have to cry just because she's expecting a girl as I wished ? Arff... I am pathetic ! But I can't help, honest! When I am really angry at someone, instead of shouting I cry and that's the same when I am too happy ... but when I am sad, I don't cry. I just keep it to myself and do not talk to anyone, but I do not cry ! How normal (NOT) is that?
I am not good at showing my emotions when I try to, it's just spontaneous ... when I don't want to cry then I will, no matter how hard I try to hold back the tears. It's weird, it's just as if there was an explosion within me and all my emotions are released at once and against my will !!! I hate that, not being able to control my feelings.... horrible !!! Mum says I have extreme feelings. I either love or hate too much. When I am in love I live this feeling to the max... I do anything in my power to keep the feeling alive. But when I hate someone, you can be sure that'll be for the end of time... I can't forgive treachery, betrayals and lies ! But hey, I usually have a very good reason to hate someone. I am not the kind of person who picks someone, judges that person and decides she's gonna hate her/him for the rest of his life without even knowing that specific person !!! Even if it takes time, I always try to get to know a person and judge her for what she really is. Anyway, all this to say that I really need to control my feelings ... ^__^

Anyway, this blog layout is really pissing me off. Have tried to fix the archives pages but I didn't manage to... it's chinese to me. If there's a nice soul out there willing to help a poor lady ....... feel free to do so !!!! Thank you........ oh, erm ....... also, if someone knows where I can find a KISS layout for my blog..... please let me know! You'd make my day brighter ^__^

Last but not least...... I know now that I have no more feelings for my ex boyfriend. how am I so sure? Simple... he called me last week-end and it didn't feel like usually. My heart didn't beat fast, my legs were okae too ^__^ ... and I felt kind of relaxed and peaceful !!! how brilliant is that? honestly ??? Nooooooow......... I really need to find my half, right ? And were the hell am I supposed to meet him, huh? (not in France, that's a certainty !!!) ................. perhaps in the other side of the ocean? Who knows where I am gonna find my soul mate !!!




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