Today's Mood:


Thursday, April 24, 2003

Am still feeling sick this morning… wonder what the hell is wrong with me at the moment ?!?! I don’t think it’s something I ate because I’ve been sticking to healthy food with lots of veggies and fruits and it can’t really make you sick, can it ? Am not pregnant either … there’s no chance for that ! And it isn’t a hangover either … so, what the hell is it, huh ?!? I think I really should go and visit the doctor. Damn… I hate him !!! What’s more, this week I’ve got to go and do a thyroid echography because of my blood pressure which, apparently, is too high … honestly, I don’t see the point in doing that ! I could just not go and do it but if I do so mum’s going to have a heart attack for worrying too much !!! Ahhh … parents !!! I’m 24 years old and she still treats me like a baby! How frustrating … I know it’s her “job” to do so but, still, it’s really annoying !

Anyway, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email this morning telling me how much he missed me and that he’s been a bastard and shouldn’t have behaved the way he did with me. He surely IS a bastard !!! I just don’t get that. This situation has been going on for more than 4 years now… he doesn’t know what he wants from life and ruins everything. Each time he came back I’d forgive him (love really gets you blind !!!) and then he’d disappear from my life again … but this time there’s no way I’m going to forgive him. I’ve suffered too much pain because of him and I don’t want to go through this again ! It really hurts when he does that but I just know this time reason is going to be stronger than my heart ! There’s just one thing I don’t understand and I’m not sure I ever will… why are men so scared of commitment ? And why do they keep playing with women hearts ?

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