Today's Mood:


Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Its not a good bye, right? Just a see you later post...

No I'm not quitting blogging... I just got myself a domain name for my blog and there's anew design and stuff, and erm... using movable type instead of blogspot... and I'm actually happy (and thats an understatement!) about this little change.
Anyway, just click the link bellow and you'll be taken to the new blog. You'll have to bear with me as its still under going a few changes but its taking shape.

Heaven's on Fire

Oh, and while you're at it... feel free to leave ur comments as all my older comments have been deleted ..... booooohhhh !!!
To those concerned, I'll be adding your links to my blogroll soon... *winks* ....

Thursday, April 07, 2005

I'm a chicken...

... yes I truly am a chicken. I cancelled my date yesterday and postponed it to next wednesday. I know what you're thinking... 'What an idiot'... I probably am. It's just that I was so nervous that I felt like I wouldn't handle it. I chatted with him during the afternoon and he was okae with that, which is cool. So we planned another date for next week, and I had to promise not to postpone it this time... I wonder which excuse I'm going to find next. No wait, I promised... damn, no excuse then... I have to go! Oh dear, I'm so nervous. That's the fact of him having a 6 month old baby that freaks me out. I mean... no, I don't mean anything... I'm just not sure I'm ready for THAT.
I've had a chat with Big Sister and she just said... 'If you don't give it a go you'll never know. Besides, you've always loved babies, and you're really good... I know, you've looked after my kids long enough for me to realize it." ... Now, that's the nicest thing someone could tell me. I'll probably give him a chance to conquer my heart...

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Bloody spamers

What's wrong with those idiots? Do I really look like I need Viagra, penis extension or a loan? Without mentioning that person who keeps sending me emails saying that my glory day has come and if I don't check her stuff I'll miss out on the biggest opportunity to improve my life... yeah whatever... just fucking keep away from my inbox, you bunch of pathetic wankers. Sorry, I know I'm being rude... but I've had up to here (*hand above the head*) with this stupid spam. Don't they have anything clever to do, instead of disturbing people's peace of mind. Now... will that little fucker sending me porn spam stop messing with my mood... or you'll have my lawyer chasing you. Well, I don't really have a lawyer, but that sounded very 'business-woman' ... and, erm, I'm not a business woman either, nor can I afford a lawyer... but I still can send my friend, built like a bull after you ... ok, ok, I don't have that kind of friend either... but I'm a woman with sharp nails and pointy teeth... and you know what a woman's like when she starts fighting, right? You don't? Uh humm... me neither... I was just trying to impress you. But I disgress... just keep away from my fucking inbox or I'll be the one chasing you.

Anyway, on to another matter... I've got a date tonight. Yeah, you read well. No, no need to go check if you're having sight problems... I HAVE A DATE ... full stop. Now, don't get over excited... and stop chanting 'Kay's got a daa-ate' 'Kay's got a daa-ate'... but let's get things straight here. I'm not planing on having any kind of relationship at all with this guy, and this for several (good and genuine) reasons. First, I'm already in love with someone. I know I said I was trying to forget about it, blah, blah... thing is, it's turning out to be very difficult for me. Second, I'm planing to move to the UK anytime soon. Where's the point in starting a relationship here if I genuinely know it won't last. And third, he's got a kid already. Yeah well, that's a bad reason I know... but if I have to get with someone I'd rather he didn't have any if you see what I mean. So yeah, I'm going out with him tonight but don't get your hopes too high... just a few drinks and off I go. At least I'll have a new friend... hopefully!

Friday, April 01, 2005

Through good and bad times...

Greg, the owner of California Hammonds is holding a commentathon today, the proceeds of which will go to breast cancer research. If you want to help, please click on the banner below and leave a comment. Also, make sure you read his posts... sad, yet very beautiful, about living a life, without his beautiful wife.

Thank you all!

April Fool's Day...

... and as usual I've been tricked. I should be getting used to it after all theses years, but noo... seems like I haven't learnt my lesson well this year either!
So arrived at the office this morning to find a World War scenary right before my eyes... bits of paper everywhere, oily fingerprints all over my desk and computer, drawers and safe open... needless to say that I was about to have a panic attack just thinking about the stolen money and the Loony Boss' angry face. So I grabbed my courage and called him with my sweetest voice...

Me: "Erm, Nic? Could you come over for a minute?"
Loud rambling at the end of the line...
LB: "Yeah... wha.... *sudden interruption when he sees my office* ... what the fuck happened here?"
Me: "Well, I was about to ask you... you're the one who usually makes a mess in here"
LB: "But I didn't even come here this morning, I've just arrived from a meeting..."

Now I really was having a panic attack... I must have gone blank as he started laughing his head off...

LB: *Lunatic laughter* ... "April Fool's Dayyy..." he said, still giggling like a child "that was too easy" ... *more giggling*
Me: *feeling my anger rise* ... "Not funny... not funny at all. I doubt you'd have laughed if all the money had vanished" ...
LB: *leaving the office and still giggling* ... "THAT was wayyy too easy..."

What an idiot... I swear I've used all my swear word extended vocabulary. Serves him right! *rants* ... if that wasn't enough, a guy tried to pay his bill with monopoly notes, I've had like a thousand prank calls, who I later found out where made by no other than Nic's cousin, someone called me saying I'd won a round-the-world trip for 2 persons (well, I did enter a competion for that!)... yeah, you guessed right, of course I didn't win that... another trick from one of our best clients. Thank you guys... didn't I tell you I loved being disappointed? Pwaa.... what's with all those people? Haven't they got something clever to do instead of wasting my time? *more ranting* ... I swear I won't let this happen next year!

Thursday, March 31, 2005

You know what?

I am feeling soo much better since my last post. No really, I do! Let's say that sometimes it feels good to let go, you know... so I did, and here I am back on track. Thank you all for the sweet comments on my last post, they truly cheered me up. It's great to know that, actually, some people do read my ramblings... makes me feel less alone in this big big place. So thank you again, I do appreciate it (waw, now, I'm speaking like an adult... woohoo!).
Anyway... I've taken an important decision for my future. I decided I'd take the bull by its horns (damn, I'm feeling really grown-up now with this adult talking... )... and move my ass up north... So next on my to-do list is:
  1. Update my CV
  2. Write an outstanding cover letter
  3. Apply for different jobs, that I'll actually like... uh hum!
  4. Get the said job
  5. Negociate salary (yeah well, who do you think is going to pay the bills, huh?)
  6. Pack my stuff in 100 boxes, no more no less....
  7. Book a single flight ticket
  8. Panic about starting a new life in an unknown city
  9. Relax when remembering that close friend's there to help just in case.....
  10. Say good-bye to family and shed a few tears... just so it looks like the good-byes in movies...
  11. Panic again while boarding the plane
  12. Get settled in Dublin
  13. Forget I'm heart-broken and get myself some special glue to have it mended
  14. Drink, smoke and be sick
  15. Be Happy at last!

Now, I know that's a very long list but, who knows, I might manage to stick to it and achieve my goals.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Once upon a time...

... in a far away land, there was a little girl dreaming of leading a happy life in the future. She had everything planned in her head... she would have a wonderful job, she would marry her Charming prince, have loads of babies and live happy ever after. Apparently it wasn't to be... the little girl turned into a young lady with a job she likes but doesn't really love, a man she loves but can't really have, childless... and a life that isn't all that happy! I wish things had been different... I wish I could have had the power to change things... but I really didn't have the means for that! In the meantime, I'm still stuck with this pathetic boring life. This place makes me depressed and miserable, I hate being here. People suck here... honestly, why do these French people have the intelligence of a teaspoon?

For a little while I've been thinking about moving abroad again... I wanted to go back to the only place I can call home... London... but again, everything's so expensive it drives me mad. I've always wanted to have my own little abode, a place that really belongs to me but honestly, how could I ever afford it? I don't know... everything seems so difficult at the moment. Maybe I should just move somewhere else, start a new life, forget about everything... forget about all these people calling themselves friends that end up back-stabbing you when you expect it the least... forget about these members of your family that think you're a loser because you don't really reach their expectations, because you're not what they wanted you to be... that's sad to have people like this around you, it's doesn't make my life any easier. I should be used to it by now... I've always been the black sheep in this bloody family after all.

My heart is aching with all this mess... I feel kind of... useless. Yeah, that's the word I was looking for. No one needs me and I suppose everyone could live happy even without me being here. That's what makes me sad. I perfectly know there's nothing for me here and that's why I have this huge need to escape. I was thinking about moving to Dublin, spend time with my friend there, try to improve my life, try to forget I've ever been in love... but I don't know if I'll ever manage to. Some things are deeply engraved in my heart, emotions that no matter what you do, no matter where you go, will always leave a deep cut in your heart...

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Uh hum...

I wanted to write something but, well, I don't have much to say just now. Well, I could tell you about that pile of bat droppings, I call french people, how I hate France and miss London, how I've been thinking about moving to Dublin, blah, blah... but I'll keep that for when I'm bored at the office next tuesday (tomorrow being a bank holiday here!).

I'll just tell you ONE thing though..... HURRAYYYYY .... I got myself a new mobile phone, PDA, MP3 player, video and photo camera... all in one single piece of electronics called Motorola A925 ... I'm sooo excited now. Can't wait to have it next week... hehehe! Not that I am a telephone addict... not at all, but I must say I AM a gadget addict, so I had to get myself this masterpiece... hahaha.

Anyway, I'm off to watch Lord of the Rings now... so I'll leave you guys with a question, okae?
What kind of mobile phone do you have? Are you the kind to get the latest on the market or are you simply happy with a standard one?

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